Craster doesn't have recipes; he has guidelines - and they're never written down. He is the best at cooking pig, and the worst at knowing where his apron is.
MEATUP FESTIVAL 2024
Headliners
The Dreamer
The Doctor
Doc tries to keep the other chefs in line and once almost suceeded. Where Craster is "some", Doc is "milligrams". He is the best at actually planning, and the worst at chilli cake.
The Drinker
It's Grim...'s house, and you're here because he doesn't like to drink alone. He is the best at playing beer pong, and the worst at being useful after playing beer pong.
MEATUP FESTIVAL 2024
Lineup
Cheeseburgers
Hot dogs
Chicken
Smoked mac and cheese
Objection: salad
Potato salad
Epic sauces
MEATUP FESTIVAL 2024
Previous excellence
MEATUP FESTIVAL 2024
Get Tickets
£ 1 5
PRICE SLASHED TO £15 PER PERSON
Astoundingly, as the price of everything goes up, the price of MeatUp comes down.
Is this a colossal mistake? Let's find out together.
MEATUP FESTIVAL 2024
Get FAQd
What should I bring with me?
Anything you want to drink, chairs are handy, and winners turn up with bags of ice.
Where is it?
Encourage your satnav toward 76 Church Lane, Bedford, MK41 0AW.
Where can I sleep?
True festival-goers bring a tent. Otherwise there's space in the house if you don't mind sleeping on the floor / sofa / in the bath / etc (bring bedding!).
Bedford has loads of hotels, too.
This one is closest,
but a taxi to any of the others will only run you around £10. Note that you can probably buy a tent for less than the cost of a hotel.
Can I bring my dog?
Yes, if it's going to behave, and play nicely with other dogs.
Be aware that my dog will be there, and my dog is a fucking nutter, so if your dog doesn't like to play then, well, it may not have a choice.
Can I bring my kid?
If you're happy for your kid to get drunk, then yes. If not - probably not a great idea. Give yourself the night off!
I might not be able to turn up, but I'd like to. How much notice do you need?
None, really. Just turn up, say hi, and hand me some cash. Bring ice.
Will my tent fit in your garden?
Yup. Even Mali's supertent fits.
Is it lunch, or dinner, or what?
Yeah, this one is tricky to answer. It's generally "food served throughout the day". Although we don't specifically serve lunch, there will be things to eat when you arrive, so don't worry about going to McDonald's before you rock up.
Is there space for my car?
Yup.
Where's the closest train station?
Bedford train station is a £7 taxi ride away.
Will there be music?
Yup. You can even choose some yourself: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1tOxJ3DpYcKITNgue11WFf?si=9ca983086afe4e2c
Can I arrive early / late?
Of course. If you arrive very early we may sling an apron on you and get you to help prep, though.
Can I have a go at being a chef, or at least cook what I brought?
Christ yes, the Yes, Chef!s would love a chance to sit and have a beer (which one of them did for the entire day in 2019, and still hasn't been forgiven).
Just approach the closest one and offer to take over. Call them back when you are bored.
What's the ice for?
The paddling pool.
What's the paddling pool for?
Drinks.
Do you want a drink?
Certainly, but don't feel for a second that it's compulsory. Your hosts enjoy Bourbon and Desperados (not together).